My Words: Now in Print

3 01 2011

Yes, it’s cool being published on various websites.  But it’s even cooler being published in print.  So few things are actually put in print these days, what with the Internet and your Kindles and Nooks and iPads and various other electronic reading devices.  So I feel pretty good about the fact that one of my stories was published in the Wretched Moments anthology, now available IN PRINT from  Next step: a published book all to myself.


A Very Eggy Halloween

29 10 2010

Hey, Halloween is this weekend.  What better way to celebrate it than with some scary stories?  As it turns out, I have a couple for you.  The first is an audio version of “The Old Ones,” courtesy of The ShadowCast Audio Anthology (though sadly now missing from their iTunes archive).  Then after that, enjoy “The Ghost Who Wouldn’t Stop Hitting on Me” over at Misfit Magazine.  Warning:  YOU WILL PISS YOUR PANTS.  That doesn’t have anything to do with the stories, though.  You’re just getting old and incontinent.

From the Rejection Pile: 10 Patriotic Songs for Kids

27 10 2010

I was on a roll with article rejections last week.  After having my “How to Surprise Your Girlfriend” rejected for not being serious enough, the same thing happened with this article.  I was told to remove the “sarcastic political stuff.”  Not gonna happen.  Instead I present it to you here with the sarcastic political stuff.

10 Patriotic Songs for Kids

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From the Rejection Pile: How to Surprise Your Girlfriend

20 10 2010

This article got sent back to me with the note that at least three out of the five items should be serious, and that I should definitely get rid of the bits about adopting a child and spray-painting a car.  NO DEAL.  I don’t compromise my artistic integrity.  So here it is, presented to you TOTALLY UNCENSORED.

How to Surprise Your Girlfriend

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McEggy’s Internet Tendency

28 09 2010

A couple months back, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency had a contest to find new columnists for their website.  I submitted the following prototypical humor column, but it was not accepted.  You can judge for yourself whether or not they made the right call.  (Hint: They probably did.)

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Other Writing

12 09 2010

So I added this new section onto my blog called “Other Writing.” Perhaps you’ve noticed it if you’ve been here in the last month wondering why the hell I haven’t posted anything new.  Well, to answer that question:  I haven’t posted anything new because I’ve been too busy writing for other people to actually write for myself.  That happens sometimes.  The good news, though, is that I’m building up a nice little portfolio of my published writing to show off to other people when I want to write for them.  That’s what the “Other Writing” section is for.  I’ve had a couple short stories accepted for publication recently, and they’ll be showing up there soon.  Keep an eye out!  And with any luck, maybe I’ll find some time to write something new for my blog, too.

Gotham Elementary

6 07 2010

After being told by a few different editors that the following story gets a little too close to crossing the line into fan fiction, I’ve decided it’s probably not the best candidate to submit for publication.  Instead, I’m putting it up here on my blog so it doesn’t completely go to waste.

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